I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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