I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
