my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
