I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
