he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
