so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
