I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
