Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
