remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
