I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
