It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
