Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
