Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
