How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
