Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
