I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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