Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
