Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
