Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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