This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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