I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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