Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
