It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
