When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
