and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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