Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
