you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
