well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
