On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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