wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
