Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You need a sexual gate keeper
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
