I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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