and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
