it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
