Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
