he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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