ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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