So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
