wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
