Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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