Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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