the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
