worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
