Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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