look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
