that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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