i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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