Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
