I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
