What a fucking waste of an outfit
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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