I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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